“Pushing on a pull door”
It’s a phrase, a song (For king and country) and feeling that I think I might finally understand. For a while now I’ve been trying to find peace and contentment by making my own plans. I decide that something is going to happen a certain way and that will make me happy. Then it does not and I am disappointed, feeling worse than I did before. The problem with many of my plans is that they involve other people, and I just cannot predict how other people will respond or act. I cannot decide for other people. That’s why my plans fall through. You know what they say, “the best laid plans of mice and men…” (Actually I don’t even know what the rest of that phrase is but I feel like there has to be more.)
My plan making needs to stop. It’s just like pushing on a pull door. The song says:
You made a plan. You think you’re in control. Yeah you’re flying. But you’re way too high to fall. And hey man, check around the corner because it’s coming. Here’s your wakeup call.
I make plans that I think will succeed but then I fall and it hurts. The opposite of making plans is to let life happen, keep my focus on God, and the pieces will all come back together. God’s been at this whole plan making business a lot longer than I have so leaving it to the expert sounds like a good idea this time.
The good thing is that God has plans that are good for me. He’ll reveal them to me in the right time.
If only I didn’t have to get to the point where I feel like life is upside down and broken at the same time in order to come to this conclusion. Now to just remember this…
I’m not going to ever get somewhere by pushing on a pull door.
This song stumbled across my Facebook ads and the band name intrigued me so I YouTubed them. This was the first song I clicked on. I’m not sure what the artists intended by the song and video, but take a moment now to listen to thinking that God is singing it to you and that the man artist in the video is God leaving messages and calling for the girl.
Moment to listen…do it.
How many times do we go through life not paying attention to the little ways that God is showing us his love? Sometimes I stop and smell flowers or become amazed at colors because for me that is how God shows his love. Sometimes I see his love in a verse of scripture or a kind word from a friend. This time I see it through this video. At times I am that girl. So busy that I don’t see the (figurative) “bright yellow flowers” that God has placed along the path as a way of drawing me to him.
This is a quote from the book Captivating:
“God’s version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens, and fierce devotion.”
So I guess what I’m saying is that God is painting a beautiful picture everyday, whether it be through storms that light up the night or gorgeous flowers that color the day. We just need to slow down and realize that God is loving us through these things. Take time to stop and smell the flowers and marvel at God’s handiwork.
God is saying:
“I have done for you everything my love. hear my song for you, I will not hold my tongue. open your heart, open your heart, for I have loved you from the start. I will never harm you.”
Last night I was able to watch some beautiful children sing to God. I just thought I’d share a few videos I found online of the group (well not the group that I saw but a similar group). It is the Watoto Children’s Choir from Uganda. It just reminded me that God makes beautiful people everywhere.
I’ve talked a few times now about my English class where we are reading The Iliad and The Odyssey and modern interpretations. So far we have read The Iliad, viewed/read four modern interpretations of it, and almost finished The Odyssey. We’re trucking right along. Today during the discussion (which I was fighting to stay awake during), the professor pointed us toward the Siren’s (which is spelled differently in our translation but I can’t remember now) song. He pondered for a while about why music is so magnetic. Then he gave the example of his record collection which he got rid of, then regretted it, then tried to find all of the music on iTunes. The music took him back to a place in the past and helped him remember things about himself. That’s his reasoning for music’s magnetism.
For me, music is magnetic for it’s ability to speak exactly what I’m feeling or thinking. My favorite songs are those which have at some point in my life said exactly what I’m feeling or thinking. For example, Tenth Avenue North’s song, Worn, was shared with me at a time when I was emotionally and physically tired. At that point in my life, that song encouraged me because it helped me realize that I’m not alone with my tiredness. That’s just one example out of many though.
Music is also an escape for me. When I am tired or cranky or any other emotion really, I can turn on my Pandora or KLove or Air1 or my Mp3 and just be gone for a few minutes. I can drown out other people, things, feelings, etc and be with myself and God for a few minutes. Or when I’m in a particularly good mood, I can turn volume up (to a certain extent since I do live in a dorm) and dance around happily for a few minutes. This is not advised if your roommate thinks you’re crazy, which mine does at some points but she tolerates my dancing. (I’d just like to take this parenthetical moment to say I won in the roommate department. She’s pretty awesome and she happens to be my best friend here on earth.)
Music is pretty great, don’t ya think?
I was on an emotional high when I left the concert. It was four hours of great music. Okay there were a few bands that weren’t exactly my style, but I did get to experience some of my greats such as Mercy Me, Tenth Avenue North, Kutless, and Jeremy Camp. By the time Mercy Me came on as the last band, I was emotionally overloaded, so it didn’t even really sink in that I was seeing a band that I have been listening to since 6th grade.
As I was listening to the great songs, I pondered why I enjoy going to concerts so much. I do want to support the bands that I think are doing a great job of spreading the message, but I can do that by buying their CDs. For the bands that I really liked, I don’t think that they care immensely about the fame they receive, or at least I hope that they don’t. They definitely don’t need my support to keep singing. It was good to hear their thoughts about songs, but that also is not the reason that I go listen to them live. I don’t want to idolize the bands, because they are blessed with their talents only because God allows them to be blessed. Most of all I am thankful for their talents. Their music speaks to me and sometimes gets me through the day.
I’m really not sure why I go to concerts, except to escape from reality for a while and surround myself with music. That’s hard to find in the real world, because I don’t like to just let myself sit still and listen to music when there are so many other things I could be doing.
I do know that I cannot just let it be one night of awesome worship and reflection on songs. It has to happen outside of that setting. I can praise God anywhere and I must let my love for God show in the “real world.”
That’s the moral of the story: Shine.
I get so distracted by music. I thought deleting my Facebook would help me concentrate better on homework, but now I sit on Pandora listening to songs and reading the lyrics. Today I ran across one that I think could be my theme song:
Well, maybe I got somethin’ that I can’t explain
And the beauty of it never changes
It’s got me wrapped up
I’m all caught up
I can’t help but say
I’m a God girl that’s who I’ll be
From the top of my head to the soles of my feet
No I can’t deny it, wouldn’t even try
I’m your girl in a crazy world
I’m a God girl that’s who I’ll be
From the top of my head to the soles of my feet
I can’t deny it, wouldn’t even try
I’m your girl for the whole wide world to see
I really like this next verse:
And when my ears start hearin’ what people say
Hurry up find love cause times tickin’ away
Well, I’m not bein’ lazy I’m just waiting for
Still waiting for the right boy
Cause I only want to listen to Your voice
So I’ll be listenin’
Always listenin’ to You everyday
I’m content with just waiting on God to fulfill that part of my life. Really all I need is God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
So it’s a close tie between this song and “It’s a Good Day” by FFH.
By the way, I don’t know what’s going on with the random pictures in this video. Just listen to the words and the music.
Reading an analytical article for my English class reminded of one of my struggles-categorizing things. I never have been very good at defining genres, because I see so many stereotypes and exceptions. In fact some of my least favorite questions are: What is your favorite type of music? What type of book do you most enjoy reading? What is your favorite genre of movie?
‘The problem I have with these questions is that I like bits of many genres in each of these categories. I like books, movies, or songs based on an individual basis not an entire “genre.” While I will say that I don’t like country music, there are a few songs that others would classify as country that I do enjoy. It’s a tricky balance.
Another problem with these questions is that as soon as I answer one of these questions with a genre, I am judged. Now I know I shouldn’t worry what others think about me, but I do. Okay, that’s out there. I’m working on it, but I still don’t want to be judged based on my answer to one question. Just because I say that I listen to Christian music does not mean I am going to shove my beliefs down your throat. (I’m not sure that is the best example, because I am going to try to influence you about my beliefs in this aspect of my life.) Just because my favorite book is Jane Eyre does not mean that is all I like to read.
So how do I answer these questions?
What is your favorite type of music?: I own mainly Christian music, but I listen to most anything in the background.
What type of book do you most enjoy reading?: Oh that’s a tough question. My favorite is either Little Women or Jane Eyre, but I will try reading most anything I can get ahold of.
What is your favorite genre of movie?: I used to always say musicals, but now I find that I like all types of movies, even some documentaries.
This leads me to thinking about how we classify people based on certain aspects, but I think that will be a whole different blog post…someday.