Tuesdays are always tough for me. I developed a theory during student teaching that Tuesdays are really the worst day of the week. We expect Mondays to be tiring, but they’re actually kind of exciting because it’s a new week and I’ve gotten rest over the weekend. Wednesdays are good because it’s the middle of the week. By the time Thursday and Friday roll around, it’s almost the weekend. And then the weekend is always great because it’s the weekend. But Tuesdays…Tuesdays have very few redeeming qualities. To add to that, I spend quite a bit of time alone on Tuesdays between school and Bible study. For those reasons, I sometimes get discouraged on Tuesdays.
Yesterday was one of those Tuesdays. I felt discouraged, tired, unappreciated, and just empty. These feelings led to questions about my future and if what I’m doing is really what I should be doing. I wondered if I am making a difference with the BCM. To put it shortly, I had a little pity party. In my car. Alone. For quite some time.
Probably not the best idea.
Thankfully, my line of work with BCM often leads me back to the Bible even when I don’t feel like going there. I started skimming through lesson again for Bible study last night. God does cool things, ya know. That lesson was on the ways Satan uses distraction, discouragement, and doubt to get us off focus. As I read the chapter I realized that Satan was definitely using discouragement to beat me down. He was whispering lies to me, and I was falling for them fast.
Once I realized what was going on, it was easier to step back and figure out how to come out of that slump before it became an avalanche. Through experience, I know that the best way to fight off discouragement is to spend time in God’s fellowship. I started praying for my spirit and for the Bible study that night. I began taking thorough notes on the chapters for myself and for the teaching process. I read 16 chapters of Genesis. By the time I came out of my car, I was feeling better about what I doing with my life and the worry had melted away.
Our Bible study went well last night. We covered the two chapters of our book and had good discussion about Mary and Martha’s life lessons. Somewhere I heard that part of being a good leader is bringing vulnerability to the lesson. By bringing my own very current discouragement to the table, I was able to more effectively teach the lesson. That was a moment where God used my pain for His glory. And that’s the ultimate purpose of my life: to bring glory to God.