Hello, I am a planner.
The hardest thing for me to do is to let go and let someone else take control. Even when I am exhausted physically, mentally, and spiritually, I still have problems handing over the reins. Unfortunately, sometimes I treat God the same way. I catch a glimpse of what I think is God’s plan and boom, I am off trying to plan the best way to execute it. I forget to wait patiently for God to show me how to execute it.
Or in other cases, I want something so badly that I plan how to get it. I justify leaving God out of the planning process. I feel in control as long I am planning. I know that the end result is pleasing to God, hopefully, so I work it all out in my head. Then often, God is like, nope, we’re gonna do it my way. My plan is destroyed and I am left crying.
(Patience. That word and I don’t get along sometimes.)
On the flip side of that problem, there are times I know God is leading me somewhere to do something but I am hesitant to follow because I don’t know how it will turn out. I don’t know the exact steps it takes to get there so I don’t want to take the first step. The planner in me wants to plan it all out, but there are some situations I cannot plan because they rely on the reactions and actions of other people. That’s where I have to trust God and sometimes that is the hardest thing- to realize that I cannot plan something.
In this video, Kevin references Proverbs 3:5. I get the first part. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” Yep, I can trust God to show me things, to help me, to plan things, but if it doesn’t happen fast enough I tend to jump ahead. It’s the second part that gets me. “Do not depend on your own understanding.” But God, I know how to fix this situation. Just trust me. That’s where I fail. God doesn’t need to trust me; I need to trust him and let him lead.