There’s been a lot of thoughts running around in my brain recently. Sometimes those thoughts just make me tired. Sometimes I just get tired because I stay up too late. Sometimes I get tired because I want to hide from my emotions. Sometimes I get tired of people.
Maybe it’s that I do too much. Maybe it’s that I think too much. Maybe it’s that I feel too much. Maybe it’s that I don’t sleep enough.
Whatever it is that causes me to feel tired, I know that there is One who can give me strength. When I don’t feel like being strong or smiling or encouraging, I can call on the One who gives strength. No, it’s not a magical fix-all. I still feel tired, but I usually get just enough strength to find something to smile about. Then I’m able to encourage someone else and my day starts to look a bit better.
Lately, I have been reading the Psalms (backwards; I started on the last one and read them in backwards order). I find immense comfort in them most of the time. Last night, I cheated and was just flipping through the Psalms and came across one of my favorites- Psalm 18. I really like the image of God as my rock, strength, fortress, savior, shield, power, and place of safety.
I love you, Lord;
you are my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
and my place of safety.
I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and he saved me from my enemies. (verses 1-3)
When I am feeling strengthless or powerless or tired, I can pray these words. I believe they are true. I don’t have the strength to make it through some situations but God is my strength. He can give me rest.
Verse 28 says “You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.” I like that. When it’s dark in my mind and I can’t seem to figure out what I’m supposed to do in a situation (which seems to be a lot recently), God lights up a light so that I can see just a little better.
What I really take hope in is the fact that God is steady and knows what is going to happen to me. He knows and he plans for the best. Even there are some experiences in this life that I want really bad, I must be patient because God will work that part of my life out. Sometimes it’s hard to be patient and I get tired of being patient, but I just have to keep faith that my Rock knows what’s best for me.
God’s way is perfect.
All the Lord’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
For who is God except the Lord?
Who but our God is a solid rock?
God arms me with strength,
and he makes my way perfect. (verses 30-32)
Yeah, it’s hard to remember all of this when I’m sitting alone thinking through mistakes I’ve made, the ways people have hurt me, or the experiences I want but don’t have, but then I remember the image of the Rock. I imagine a large flat sandstone rock, solid and unmoving. Big enough for me stretch out and rest. In the sun but not hot, just warmed. There’s a gentle breeze blowing.
God is that Rock.
And that feels good.