Posted in Life

Are my dreams “good” enough?

Tonight George Watsky came to my school and performed some poetry.  I can’t say that I had even heard of him before seeing the posters and youtubing him, so I only went because it was a Saturday night and I needed something to do.  So I went.  Yeah he used quite a few curse words and innuendos (not really my style) and his beliefs are a little different than mine, but other than those few things his poetry was entertaining and well-performed.  Snaps.

Watching him perform got me thinking.

He’s 25.  I’m 19.  That’s only a 6 year difference.  How is it that he is living his dream while I’m sitting in a classroom learning about what might be my dream?  I think about dreams and I’m not even real sure what my dreams are.  Yeah I want to be a teacher who inspires and who makes education interesting so that someday some kid can look back and think “oh yeah my English teacher who taught me this made me think about doing [insert awesome thing here].”  It’s not that I want credit or fame (cause I actually prefer to be behind the scenes), but I just want to influence someone for good.  Is that a dream though?

When I try to compare that to the dreams that some people have, I feel kinda lame.  I mean, my dream is to be a teacher?  That doesn’t sound as awesome as a dream to be a president or an actress or to create world peace.

Then I think about all those inspirational people who say go for your dreams.  So if my dreams are to be a teacher, I should go for it, right?  Well that seems to be what I am doing right now.  But it does just does not seem like I’m doing anything to go for any extraordinary dream.  I mean, I’m studying English and Educational Theory so that I can stand in front of a class of hormone-filled high-schoolers who probably don’t care about Shakespeare or Steinbeck anymore than they care about how many hairs are on their mother’s head.  That’s my dream.  Yep.

So that’s where I stand.

But I’m gonna move past that pessimistic attitude and stand boldly and say THAT’S MY DREAM.

No my dream does not involve fame (unless it’s fame in the eyes of a acne-faced high schooler who just wants someone to listen to them), nor does it involve changing the world (well actually that’s a myth, because teachers do have the ability to change the world, just not in the same way as the world peace activist does).  My dream involves reading novels until I can quote them, inserting commas so that we don’t say “let’s eat grandma,” and spending long hours reading essays that students wrote in two hours.  Wanna know why that’s my dream?

That’s my dream, not because it will make me money or because I know how to do it, but because I want to make some high schooler have a better school experience than I did. (I’m not saying I had a horrible one, but I am saying that there is always better).  I want to teach because I want to see the “lightbulb” go off over some student’s head when they understand that they can be something greater than they are now.  Teachers have power.  I want to be a powerful teacher who doesn’t abuse that power.

I will push away those doubts and continue down my path, because that is my dream.



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